7 Years in Hollywood: Dana, Hollywood Fireball

Over morning coffee today I read an article about a cell phone danger and this short screenplay just popped into my head fully blown.

Well, blown up as you'll read.

Dana, Hollywood Fireball is dedicated to one of my true heroes in Hollywood, Dana Brunetti of Triggerstreet and Triggerstreet.com fame.

Follow Dana on Facebook. Dana has without a doubt one of the most entertaining and nitty gritty pages if you are into Hollywood. Dana bitched recently on FB:

"I am done swimming with the fucking sharks for today. What a fantastic, yet shithole business that I am in."

Dana's amazingly honest comment on this nut job town we work in combined with the gas station story and how much frustration Dana often expresses over Iphones all came together in this short story.

A story that would cost millions to film. Blogging's fun. No budgets!

Bummer is no pay. Unless you sell out with Google ads on your page. What would Google sell here I wonder...

Note: The hero of this tale is a 100% fictional character, absolutely nothing like the real life Dana. Except, no ass kissing allowed on my blog, Dana really is burning up this sleepy town with his great films he creates with Kevin Spacey like their recent hit "21".

Nor do I imply that I wish for Dana's death...

... most of the time;)

Dana, Hollywood Fireball

By Ken Sheetz

EXT. HOLLYWOOD GAS STATION - DAY

A red Porsche rumbles up to the pumps.

Dana, 30, boyishly handsome, dapper in a hip Hollywood way, steps from the Porsche, Iphone knockoff to his ear.

DANA (Speaking to Cell Phone)

Tell that fuckhead's agent, "No fucking --

A tiny spark leaps from the Iphone to Danna's unshaven cheek.

DANA
Ouch! This fucking Iphone bug-zapped me!
Fucking made in China shit!

Dana crams the phoney Iphone between his ear and hunched shoulder to free his hands. He flips open the Porsche's gas tank cap.

DANA
Are you on fucking smack? Spears can't act for shit!

Dana selects Premium Grade and jams the pump into his shiny red Porsche.

Faint gas fumes shimmer in the air.

DANA
One day, I swear to Christ, this fucking shithole film biz is
gonna kill --

Close on the Iphone. ZAP! Gas fumes IGNITE.

Dana catches fire. Dana screams and staggers.

His flaming arm knocks the gas pump from the Porsche.

Premium gasoline gushes onto the gas station tarmac.

DANA
Help! I'm on fucking fire! Help me, you
fucking Hollywood duchebags!

CUSTOMERS run from Dana, Hollywood's new human inferno act. Some jerks hop into their BMWs and Priuses, burning rubber as they race off.

GAS STATION ATTENDANT, black, 310 pounds, dives on Dana.

GAS STATION ATTENDANT
Didn't yo mama teach your sorry ass
to drop and roll!

A flame hops from Dana for the spilled gas and IGNITES. Fire races for the pumps like a lit fuse.

Dana and Gas Attendant's eyes go wide...

BOOM!

EXT. GRIFFITH PARK OBSERVATORY - DAY

Bird chirps in a tree overlooking Hollywood.

A small ball of fire silently rises in the distance below.

Sound of the fire ball finally reaches the bird like faint rolling thunder.

Bird goes merrily on chirping as the fireball fades to smoke, rising for the sun.

THE END